Times Are A Changing.

020Hello wordpress world, there have been a few changes in my little world of late. The most monumental was my youngest son starting primary school.

I was a tad anxious about A starting school but a week in and so far so good. It took him such a long time to settle into the nursery routine I was concerned he may find school difficult. I know its early days but Im really happy and he seems very happy too! Seeing him dressed in his school uniform, shirt and tie, makes me burst with pride and  tear in my eye. My baby is growing up too fast.

The other big change was, not quite as momentous as the first but actually more stressful!

Ten days ago I took the decision to move yards. After 6 months of trying to accommodate other people, watching my horse become more and more neurotic and the increased yard politics, I couldn’t stay there a day longer. Ive been thinking of moving for some time originally hoping to rent a small yard myself. It quickly became apparent that this option was just about impossible. So, after looking at a couple of yards where DIY was available I picked one. The following day I told the yard owner I was leaving in three days. End of!!  

Moving day was Saturday 17th, with the help of my very good friend, it went with out a hitch! that was the first good omen. Arriving at our new home during a torrential down pour ( I was on my third jacket by this time) we were greeted by the yard owner Denise.

Denise owns the yard but most of it is rented by a professional showjumper and his partner where they produce youngsters for competition. They also have their own horses plus schooling liveries (people who pay them to work their horses) The pro’s horses are like the F1 of the horse world. Me and Finlay are more the RAC Rally haha!

Denise uses a couple of stables for livery horses and I am lucky to be one! Everyone appears to be friendly and helpful, a really laid back atmosphere!

With in an hour of being in his new stable Finlay was already calmer. I really couldn’t believe what I was seeing, this horse who had become so upset in his previous stable where even grooming him had become impossible was now completely chilled out!!

Five days on and he’s just getting better and better! He now doesn’t bother when his neighbour goes out leaving him, he doesn’t barge the door or chew constantly. He has his own paddock next to his stable neighbour and is now happily turnout out everyday!

Non horsey readers will think, whats all the fuss about lol, well moving a horse is a bit like moving house! Stress! But now that its all done I couldn’t be happier! I finally have my lovely boy back, my lovely big Finlay is happy again x

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Its Good To Talk

Its good to talk, so said a very old tv advert for a telecoms company. I agree, it is good to talk, especially during times of turmoil. So why do some men find it impossible to talk, ask for help or allow anyone in?

Is it that we are all a product of our upbringing, have we learned patterns of behaviour from our parents? Or is it based on gender?

I raised one son on my own and now 20 years later find myself in the same position. My eldest son who is approaching his 22nd birthday communicates well, he and I have always had a good relationship. From an early age I encouraged him to talk, talk about anything and everything and I now do the same with my five year old.

I think its vitally important that young children learn to talk, especially boys.

We are all a product of our upbringing to a certain extent but we can also learn! We can learn from our past mistakes. Isnt that the point of making mistakes? To learn from them?? I guess no one can be forced, one must be ready to talk and accept help but watching someone go through that process is heart breaking.

I went through a very tough couple of years after separating from my ex. I thought the stress and heart break would never end. But it did and I learned a few things about myself. I admitted to myself that I hadn’t treated others as well as I could have in the past. Id been very selfish and took many things and people for granted. That experience along with the chronic pain condition I have made me more humble, more appreciating of what really is important in life.

As I watch my friend suffer the demise of his marriage in a foreign country far from friends and family all I can do is offer a shoulder to lean on. I can see his turmoil. I can see alcohol controlling his emotions. I can see through his attempts at humour to ward off any sympathy or words of affection. His family reach out to him yet he rejects all offers of help. I talk about gaining some control again, I plead with him to stop drinking but then I think, is this what he has to go through to learn the lesson? To learn from past mistakes? To learn to talk?  

Its easy to shut oneself off from all emotion in the aftermath of a difficult relationship. I’m still wary of letting myself feel anything for a member of the opposite sex but it does get easier with time. As for my friend, I really don’t know if he will trust ever again. 

I hope he finds the strength be open and honest and more importantly talk. Exorcise those demons G x