The start of this year has been a right off! Second week in January I come down with some viral thing laid me in bed for a week. I go back to work for another week then it hits me again, evening trip to the out of hours doctors to find out I have flu and a chest infection. After a course of antibiotics and another week off, I go back to work but still not feeling right.

A few days later my back goes. At first I thought nothing of it, carried on as normal. It was when I tried to get on Finlay I noticed something not right. I couldn’t lift my left leg into the stirrup. I manually lifted my leg with my left hand, into the stirrup and went for a ride. During the ride Finlay spooked at a car driving past us too fast. That really hurt my back, I knew then that this was not good. Got back to the yard, jumped off and really struggled from there on in. But of course I went to work that afternoon only to find driving home from the job I couldn’t use the clutch to change gear.

Okay! Now I need help! Phoned an osteopath/ physio I’d used in the past, she gave me instructions what I was to do and made an appointment for two days later.

You have a prolapsed disc, she said. Okay I said, how do we fix it? Ignorance is bliss yes!? During that first session she noticed I was still coughing (painfully wrenching my back in the process) She said you are still sick, you need another antibiotic. She was right, this time a 10 day course of drugs to kill off this infection.

So, here we are. Still off work and still not riding. Six weeks of nothing. What if my back is never right again? What if I can’t ride? I’m scared. Apart from my children, my horse is the only thing that makes me happy (living with chronic pain condition for 8yrs will do that to a person) I’ve been in a very dark place these past few weeks. I’d say my back is 70% better, I pray that it continues to heal.

You see, I need my horse. He’s my happy place, my peaceful time, my therapy where I can forget my pain, forget my loneliness. Where I can be, me x

Hello it’s me.

My neglected blog, I’m sorry I’ve been awol. Been waiting for something positive to write about. It’s been a bit of a dry spell on the, nice things to say, front.


My my mood today is particularly bleak, so best not start writing today huh?