I have been rather quiet on here recently. The reason – depression, brain fog, tiredness and life being busy!
Last Thursday I drove to Aberdeen (170 miles) to collect my eldest son who has finished his degree. After four years of University life he is moving back home so in my rental van accompanied by my sons childhood friend ( or my dyslexic navigator ) we set off for the evening drive.
Nearly three hours later we arrived only getting slightly lost once! My sons flat was full of young noisy student friends who had gathered to say a big farewell. This group of around 20 had been close friends since there first year in Halls, a great bunch of kids! Popping my head round the door I said a quick hello then left for the short walk to my hotel.
This was my first night away from home since the failed bladder procedure so I was apprehensive about having to use catheters in an unfamiliar bathroom. The room was nice although the hotel a little shabby but the bed was comfy and to my relief I managed to use the catheter.
I had eaten and drunk very little in preparation for this journey in hope that it would allow me to travel/drive a long distance with minimum pain. My plan worked and although it was uncomfortable I made it there successfully. The following morning the van was loaded and we, myself, dyslexic navigator and son, drove the three hours home. I was on auto pilot by this time, climbing out the van when we arrived home, every joint and muscle ached. However to be met by my youngest (5 yr old) who came running across the yard and jumped into my arms saying how much he missed me made me forget all the aches and pains.
The following two days were filled with numerous loads of laundry (from Aberdeen) rearranging eldest sons room to his specifications, playing tennis, football, cooking, cleaning, horse duties in between a million trips to the bathroom! By Sunday night I was exhausted and of course couldn’t sleep! Why is that, when you most need a good nights sleep you never get it??
Monday morning I was hit with complete body shut down, my whole body ached. I ignored it, foolishly! By Tuesday after another crap night I knew I was having a flare, couldn’t think straight, brain fog, joints and muscles sore, fell asleep in the afternoon. IC was pretty much awful too. Tennis elbow agony. Stomach pains. This morning it hurt just to stand on my feet. I made it to the yard and was determined to ride and after mucking out I tacked up and rode out. I felt so uncoordinated, muscles weak and aching. I HATE this!!!! Took youngest, along with eldest to the park this afternoon, it was a struggle to stay awake. By 3 pm I was in bed for a quick snooze before afternoon yard duties.
Sleeping through the day is not me! I have never been one to go for a nap, ever!!! But I cant cope with feeling so bloody rotten. The last time this happened was end of March, exactly the same symptoms.
BUT! Im going to end this moaning post with something positive. My eldest son, who is 22 yrs old in July, has completed his degree in Linguistics at Aberdeen University. I cant express how proud I am of him. Not only has he achieved this but he has grown into such a great guy! We have always been close as it was just the two of us for most of his life and one thing I drummed into him at an early age, apart from the fact that ‘everyone’ finished school and went to Uni, was to communicate. What ever the problem, talk about it! To me, to your friends, to your teacher. Communication is key. Thankfully it worked and we’ve always had a good relationship, unlike the relationship I had with my parents! I wasn’t going to make the same mistake.
So, 22 years on and now he’s ready for the next chapter in his life. Where did the time go….. x